BRIEF CROSSING
Shit.
Fuck.
Shit.
Your ID card's torn. And it has expired.
- When was it issued? - 1990.
- It's their lousy paper. - You should have it laminated.
Yeah, but...
Am I okay?
Yes, it's okay.
Thanks.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain and his crew
welcome you aboard the Pride of Le Havre, bound for Portsmouth.
The ship is ready to cast off. We'll soon be leaving port.
Children should not run around or disturb other passengers,
or use the elevators unaccompanied.
We wish you a pleasant crossing. Thank you.
Excuse me.
Do you need a...?
I speak French. We can stick to French if you want.
I bought a packet with my friends, to show off.
I never thought I'd get hooked.
Anyway, at home everyone smokes.
My mom smokes a couple with me at night. She enjoys it.
- She enjoys it? Yes, she does.
She's smoked like a chimney since she was 14.
She never managed to quit.
All my friends smoke.
Those whose parents aren't cool smoke secretly.
They say their parents are idiots.
Your mother's cool?
Yeah. Very cool.
My dad chews her out because she gives me things.
- What does your dad do? - He's a county auditor.
He's not very cool, but it's okay. He's nice.
But not as nice as my mom. She adores me.
But one thing made her mad.
When I dorked up the eighth grade. She didn't like that.
- Dorked up? - Flunked.
- I didn't study.
In the last semester, I usually get down to it.
This time, it slipped right by. I goofed off.
Not very smart of you.
Okay, but my teachers were all idiots.
- They couldn't all be idiots. - They were.
It's a dumb job anyway.
- Hope you're not one. - No, I'm a photographer.
To finish school and go right back there,
to teach kids that very same crap...
There are better things to do in life.
And it's badly paid.
If all your teachers suck,
who wants to study?
Still, since you have to attend classes,
why not give it a try?
That's what my mom says, but I goofed off.
So now I'm doing academic upgrading.
Which is a real drag. But it serves me right.
How old are you?
18 years old.
- 18 years old? - Yeah.
You don't want some?
No, stops me from sleeping.
Nothing stops me. I can drink 10 cups.
My problem is waking up. That's always hard.
Because life is boring.
Interminable and boring.
But it also goes by incredibly fast.
You'll see, years go by like weeks, you get nothing done.
The irony is: "How to earn a living, since we're losing time."
I do nothing.
What do you want to do? Got any idea?
Aren't you amazed how adults finance cars, apartments,
their weekend cottages?
They cost a fortune.
Where does the money come from? How do you earn it?
Not with a job.
Nor the career pamphlets they give you. There's no choice.
There's just teacher,
doctor, veterinarian, lawyer...
That's what's frightening when you're young.
You don't know what you'll do later,
but they want to push you into something sooner and sooner.
You try this and try that, so you're sure to get nowhere.
But don't be frightened.
It will happen all by itself as you get older.
But you need to be confident, and not worry about the future.
People make a big fuss about planning for the future.
It just happens. It's like a gift.
What you really need is grace.
To be ready for it, like a tennis shot. You mustn't miss it.
Why do grown-ups always clip your wings?
Sometimes your future escapes you.
We're all born in one piece, but people break us with their fears,
their talk of security, full employment, of being reasonable.
Don't you find life a bit horrible these days?
But you must think seriously about what you want to do.
A job that pays well, in a field where there's still room.
No point in doing sociology or law.
Later you'll weep when you get left behind.
Today what matters is your appearance.
That's all women over 30 worry about.
Depends.
Even men now are scared of losing out in their careers.
The smart choice is plastic surgeon.
All the old farts have their faces redone.
Even if they're against it.
I don't know. The day I need it...
Everyone has their faces fixed sooner or later.
And I'll be there, waiting for them.
Thomas Seigner.
I'll take 10 years off their faces, and grab all their savings!
I'm kidding, but...
You can earn plenty, and charge what you want.
10 grand a throw. Two or three times a week.
I can live with that.
But I refuse to study till I'm 30. Not my style.
Because you're very young.
30 isn't old, it goes by very fast.
Another coffee, Madame?
You're right, we could booze it up.
You want to hit the bars?
Let's just say it's our one night on an ocean liner.
It'd be a shame to hit the sack at 10 p.m.
Without a bit of romance.
Can I ask for a favor? Something men hate to do.
What do men hate to do?
Everything! But most of all, errands.
Shopping.
- I thought I'd lost it. - This is not the time.
That's incitement to alcoholism.
Advise me. Is it all French wine?
I don't know. I only drink Coke.
They force us to buy their rotgut,
because you can get two bottles of wine for a bottle of whisky.
Mouton Cadet is very good.
I'll take champagne. It's bubbly and has no taste. It's perfect.
This is half of what I usually pay for it.
You don't give a damn. It doesn't interest you.
How about chocolate mints?
- No, I'm fine. - It's a specialty.
No, thanks.
Orange marmalade. You can't find a good one in France.
You don't have to explain anything to anyone.
You must think I'm a nerd.
No, 16 is almost 18.
It's nerdy. Now I'll seem grotesque.
There's no point in opening my mouth anymore.
- I feel I'll ruin your evening. - No!
Look, there's nothing but teens.
That's no accident.
Look behind me.
That's even worse.
I said the wrong thing?
Unforgivable!
I don't find them young. They're conformists.
Can't you see? They're such yuppies.
Even the girlfriend is just for show.
They don't give a damn.
But they need to be "with it," to have the right look.
You heard their conversation? Pathetic!
I'll go get myself a brandy.
You shouldn't have.
Don't, or I'll get angry.
Next time it's on me.
Once I've drunk my fix, I'll feel much better.
You think I'm crazy because I drink?
Young people want to age, and old people want to forget.
To erase what they've been through.
- I don't think you're old. - I am. That's why I drink.
You don't drink that much.
Two neat brandies isn't nothing.
I'd like to see you. You'd be out cold.
You'd be on the floor right away.
Whereas I can take it.
It's a bad sign. Now I can hold my liquor.
A privilege of aging.
You're not that old.
"Not that old." Listen to him! He means: "Not that young."
- Disillusion inevitably sets in. - Not always.
Yes, always.
But we don't know of anything better.
The magic moment just lasts long enough for them to seduce us.
We get to frolic in green pastures.
It's miracle time.
Then, we're led back to the stable like cows, to chew dry hay.
It's over.
We've been paired off, it's all over.
That's a bit rough.
But it's our fault too.
Since we know men are all alike, we shouldn't get hooked.
But women are like that.
Too poetic, they have to believe in it.
They don't realize they're just a lay. Then it's over.
They're yesterday's news.
It's true, aren't men like that?
You're all like that.
You're right. That's your strength.
Being a couple is abominable, but you tell yourself
it's better to stick it out than be alone.
Marriage is better than being alone. A woman alone is awful.
I don't know.
I'm alone. I was an idiot.
I couldn't fault my husband. He didn't even cheat on me.
It was even worse.
He totally lost interest in me.
I was a log, a chair, something you sit on.
Is it normal to treat a person like an object?
Is it bearable?
Should I have stayed? What do you think?
I know, I should have stayed.
But it was like a heavy cloak that stifled me.
When the eyes of someone you love only light up
when he looks at someone else, and he hardly sees you anymore,
or his look becomes terrifyingly opaque, hard and ugly,
so he can ignore you.
Women are millstones around their necks.
Men don't want to be saddled with us!
It's unfair.
Yet they still care for us. After they've wrecked us,
they don't expect us to leave.
I got that bastard!
He can't get over it. It will take him awhile!
I was the one who left.
But I'm not the leaving type.
I dumped my husband yesterday.
Which means I should've done it sooner.
Do you realize I wasted eight years of my life,
with someone who couldn't look at me after three months?
What do we want? Why do we do it?
And we didn't even have a child.
He always took precautions.
A man who loves a woman doesn't take precautions.
You know what that means? Isn't it sordid?
But it's not your problem. You're young.
Maybe you'll have a nicer life.
It has to change. It better!
- Want another coke? - No, I'm fine.
I need a drink. It's my first night as a bachelor.
No, I'll go get it.
No, let me.
We're out at sea. We're beyond the law.
That's true.
To your studies.
- No. To your love life. - I'm not proud of it.
He didn't deserve you, that's all.
Who?
Your husband. He must be a jerk.
It's not that simple.
Maybe they're simple and we're complex.
Shit, not a boring magic act!
You haven't satisfied the guy.
So to prove you don't exist and are invasive,
he makes you disappear.
He sticks swords through your body.
It's a true parable.
Nothing is truer than parables.
He bows, is applauded, and struts like a peacock.
He's proud as a peacock.
They're definitely stronger than us.
He doesn't care if she's crammed into a box,
almost choking, or if she does all the dirty work.
The man is untouched. He's superb!
Women get mutilated by life because they're more generous than men.
And contrary to belief, they age better.
You want to be a plastic surgeon.
Women never grow bald, paunchy, and vain at 40, right?
What preserves you is your youth. You're still protected.
But watch out, it doesn't last forever.
Although you've got a fine head of hair.
You have nice hair. That's a good point.
Careful, you can lose it at 25. It can go very fast.
No more hair, just pink skin, like the cheeks of your butt.
It changes everything.
But your skull is round.
It's a good base. It wouldn't be an eyesore.
But that'd really freak me out.
Don't worry, you can go bald and still look fine.
But you must escape from the male prerogative.
From all their flaunting and arrogance.
So that you exist. They don't exist, poor things.
It's because they can't reproduce, that's their problem.
So...
they invent things to put women down,
and delude themselves they have power.
Bureaucrat. There's a typical male occupation.
You'll notice it produces nothing.
No bounties.
A tiny bit of power.
Like a premature ejaculation, or a pot belly,
or a smirk on pudgy face.
You think all men are like that?
All the ones you meet, yes.
At least, all those I met.
When you add it up, they're all the same.
Only strangers are of interest.
I think you picked the wrong men to do...
To do what?
Nothing.
Come and dance.
- I've outgrown it. - Don't let me down.
I fell in love.
I fall. That means I lower myself.
That's redundant, since it has to do with men.
Aren't there any good ones?
Maybe very young ones.
Who still have some poetry, like girls.
Lips like ripe fruits.
I have to get into that. It's not really my thing.
My taste runs more to brawny furniture-movers, beasts...
At least that's what I claim.
But I always wind up with the opposite.
I'm not into boys young enough to be my son.
I don't see why not.
I know, it's stupid.
I should let myself go.
That would be easy and lovely.
I can't fall in love with someone who can't hurt me.
That'd be lovely. I must be a masochist.
You don't like nice men?
Not as a rule. I like those who hurt me.
It's what makes it spicy!
I don't understand you. I love tenderness.
To hold someone and be held, to caress.
Caresses. How awful. They're useless.
They don't make you climb walls.
You might as well be alone. Being alone beats bad company.
You've never had a gentle relationship?
Yes, I have. But they were mistakes.
You're a tough woman. I thought you were gentle.
That was my first impression.
I wanted to meet you, to take you in my arms.
- So men make mistakes too. - You're tough.
You make fun of me because I love you.
But one day I'll be older,
and you'll be really old! And you'll be all alone!
I'm sorry.
That's okay.
I'm afraid of water.
When it's black, it attracts me and I fall in.
As a kid, I stared at goldfish in a pond,
and I always fell in.
Be careful, I won't fish you out.
You won't fish me out?
I wouldn't have a chance. I don't want to die for nothing.
You dare say that!
It's true, the water's icy.
It's dark.
We wouldn't survive for 10 minutes.
I'm brave but not stupid.
It's okay. I don't want a course in lifesaving.
I want you to be romantic.
I want to sleep with you.
How romantic!
You think if one says that to a woman, it works?
I'm sorry for my raw talk.
I don't know how to act with you.
Women like raw talk, contrary to popular belief.
They don't like it pre-cooked.
What are you looking at?
Nothing.
I'm waiting.
You must learn that men have to make the first move.
It's not up to women to help them.
It's actually exciting to disconcert them
and watch them counterattack.
Shall we go?
To your place? You got a cabin?
It's the dreaded moment, to move on to serious matters.
Let's go to my cabin, since I have one.
We'll have peace. No one will disturb us there.
But there's one snag.
We may spoil something lovely, and not want to start up again.
Shouldn't we stop now, and have a pleasant memory?
- Great, there's even a porthole. - Yes. I have a porthole.
Even in luxury cabins there's no double bed.
Maybe it wasn't a good idea to come here.
Don't say that.
I'm a bitch. I can't help things along.
I feel very shy.
How can I be that way at my age?
I can't face cheating on my husband.
That's over.
Have you ever been in love?
Yes.
But I've never consummated it.
I can't actually do it. I'm blocked.
- How long have you been apart? - Three months.
We were together eight years. That's a long time.
- I bet it doesn't bother him. - Think so?
Three months...
- Think he's already cheating on me? - Probably.
The bastard.
You're all bastards.
That's all you think about.
There's no love, just ploys to bed us. And women are so dumb.
We think you mean what you say. We dream.
All bastards, who think of us as so much flesh.
I was dying to see your breasts.
I love breasts.
Slowly!
Don't rush like all the others.
Slowly!
Want to know something?
What women love is motionless rhythm.
It's an inner vibration.
I love your skin. It's soft.
You're so gentle.
You're as soft as a baby.
It's outrageous to be so young.
- You look like you're 16. - Really?
Yeah.
There's something so young about you.
But I've got crow's feet. Want to see them?
It doesn't matter. Your whole look is young.
Because my mind is very young.
- Stay! - No, I'm too hot.
- Want one? - No.
What's your life like? Lots of girlfriends?
Everything's different for my generation.
- Doesn't seem so to me. - We don't have steady girlfriends.
No more tragedies or crises.
- No tragedies or crises. - No tragedies.
How awful!
- So how do you fall in love? - I knew you wouldn't understand.
It's not like before. It's more relaxed.
You can date a girl,
and while she's away, you can even date her best friend.
Later you can re-date her, no problem.
"Date," "re-date." What language.
Turn off the music. It's unbearable.
Not a chance. You'll fall asleep again.
Someone wants to say hello. Give me 10 minutes.
There are no two ways with men.
It's morning glory or back to sleep.
Which is the same thing. It's inhuman.
I don't like it when you generalize about men.
- I like you gentle. - I'm not gentle.
But I'm too gentle for you. You only like bad guys.
- Not true. - It is!
You dry yourself at a snail's pace.
Only men are that slow. You're all holeless!
Stop saying "You're all..." I feel I'm not me.
Hurry, don't be like the others.
I'm not the others.
True, you're much more charming than they are.
Let's take a picture together.
Not a chance.
Get closer.
Smile, please.
Perfect.
Here.
Thanks.
We look good.
Write something nice on it.
No, let me pay.
- You sure? - Yes.
- Really? - Yes.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're now entering
the port of Portsmouth and will disembark in 40 minutes,
at 5.30 a.m. British time, and 6.30 a.m. French time.
Looks like it made you hungry.
We're arriving.
We've got time.
Are you in a hurry for us to part?
Ladies and gentlemen, cars will disembark...
Don't listen to them.
Passengers with cars on deck five and six
will be called ten minutes later,
once the lower decks are cleared.
We thank you for traveling on the Pride Le Havre,
and hope you had a pleasant crossing.
Leave it.
You should go get your bag. Do you have one?
- Yes or no? - Yes.
Hurry. Don't dawdle.
You think you're making things easy for me?
Swear you'll wait!
From [rarelust]